I have a WHAT?
by I was Born on a Pirate Ship
Summary: After an unexpected and life threatening accident Artemis' parents decide to tell him something that they probably should have told him 14 years ago. The rating is just because I'm probably going to swear a bit ok? PLEASE REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE **

"I love the sunset, don't you Arty?" Angeline Fowl said to her son, Artemis Fowl II.

"Yes Mother, it is quite spectacular" Artemis said staring at the sky. Artemis Junior and his parents Angeline and Artemis senior were sitting on a hill watching the sun set behind the Irish hills.

"We should leave soon if we want to get back to the motel before nightfall" Artemis senior said standing up from the hill they were sitting on.

"Yes, quite right. We don't want to drive down that road in the dark" Angeline replied, also getting up and wiping the dirt off her backside. The road in question was steep and windy and went for several kilometres.

Artemis junior could see several storm clouds in the distance but for some reason he didn't say anything.

Half an hour later the Fowl family was driving down the hill when the rain hit. One minute it was clear and the next it pouring down like they were under Niagara Falls.

"What the-? Where did that come from?" Mr Fowl said "I'm starting to think we should have bought Butler along so he could drive"

"Yes, but that would defeat the purpose of a family outing, Father"

"Good point Arty, but at least we might get down this hill in one piece if he was driving"

Just then, as they were going around a corner Artemis senior lost control of the wheel. The car spin around, the back crashing sideways into a tree. Artemis junior felt his head crash into the window and his world went black.


	2. Chapter 2 have a shower

CHAPTER TWO 

Holly Short wasn't in a good mood, not surprising really considering who just turned up on her doorstep.

"Mulch what are you doing here"

"Just standing here at the moment, waiting for you to invite me in" Mulch Diggums said. Probably not the best idea as Holly wasn't a great morning person.

"Ok Mulch let me re-phrase that" Holly said sweetly "Why the hell are you at my front door at 4 in the Goddamn morning?" she yelled.

Yep, though Mulch, probably shouldn't have been a smart arse about it. "Well Holly, its actually a really funny story. You should hear it" Mulch laughed nervously

"Then get on with it"

"Well me and my friends were out at the new pub last night" Holly groaned, she could see where this was going "We were having a great time but about an hour ago I decided to call it quits and go home. When I got home… well it turns out the money I spent last night probably should have gone to my rent and I've been evicted."

"Could you get to the point sometime this century please Mulch?"

"Can I stay at your house?"

" Hmm, how should I put this Mulch? How does 'no' sound? There is no way that I am letting a stinky little convict with a gas problem anywhere near my house"

"Aww come on Holly after all we've been through, you can't even spare me some space on the couch?" Mulch attempted to look cute and innocent but when you have a beard and smell like week old sandwich, looking innocent isn't really possible.

"After all we've been through, you still can't spare a few minutes to take a bloody shower so why should I let you in my house?" Holly was well and truly ready to kill Mulch now. If anyone else had turned up on her doorstep at some unearthly hour, asking for a bed and smelling like something from the dumpster behind Spud's spud emporium they would be dead already

"Because I'm one of your best friends and it wont be good for business if your partner sleeps in a gutter"

Holly sighed "Alright Mulch you can stay for a few day, but" she warned as Mulch stared making his way in the door "this is only temporary and for Fronds sake, have a shower"

A/N Sorry the chapters are so short, but they look longer on paper. I'm not sure if this is any good so if you like it PLEASE REVIEW. I'm not going to bother finishing it if its crap and if no one tells me otherwise I'm going to assume that no one likes it. I'M NOT A MIND READER SO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE 

**A/N sorry that took so long to get out I've had so much to do, its CRAZY. Anyway, enjoy!**

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Artemis woke up with his head pounding.

What happened? He thought, why am I lying on cheap cotton sheets with a throbbing head? Should I open my eyes? Couldn't hurt could it?

He opened his eyes and immediately closed them again. White everywhere, why on earth did they paint the walls white? Maybe I should do this a little slower.

Slowly this time so he didn't hurt his eyes Artemis opened his eyes and looked around. The room wasn't anything special, white walls, small bed and a TV that was so small you needed to use a magnifying glass to be able to see it. Artemis had been lying there for a few minutes taking in his surroundings when a nurse came in. She was middle-aged and plump around the middle and walked over to the end of Artemis' bed to check his charts without even looking at him. Annoyed by this Artemis decided he better bring some attention to himself.

"Excuse me madam, what the hell am I doing here?" He didn't even bother hiding his irritation

The nurse was so shocked that she almost dropped his charts "Mr Fowl, y-your awake" she said, her mouth open like a fish

"So it would seem. Are you going to answer my question or am I going to have to fine someone that will?"

"I'll go and get the doctor, he can explain it to you" Artemis' stomach dropped. Whenever people said that in the movies it always meant one thing.

Just remember that your life is not a movie, Artemis told himself, ok, so a lot of your friends are fairies and you do a lot of strange things that normal people wouldn't even think of but your life is not a movie.

"Artemis" Butler said as he burst into the room "you're awake"

"Why does everyone feel the need to point this out to me? I think I can figure out if I'm conscious myself" Artemis said dryly "now what happened to my parents?"

"They're ok, your mother has a broken arm and your father broke his leg and nose."

Artemis sighed, he wasn't an orphan then. "Thank god for that. How long have I been lying here?"

Butler looked shifty " Four weeks sir, you did hit your head very hard"

Artemis was shocked "_Four weeks_? You can't be serious Butler"

"I wish I was. Your parents were discharged about three weeks ago so they're being called now. They've been here almost constantly all month but the doctor made them go home and sleep."

"Fine, now if you don't mind Butler I'm still rather tired so could you please leave?"

"Ok Artemis, I'll wake you when you parents get here" Butler said as he walked out the door

"Thankyou Butler"

It was the next day before Artemis woke again. Where am I? He thought. Then everything came back to him and he groaned. Why me? He thought, wait, don't answer that. Artemis smiled, he made a joke! Then his mind moved over to more serious thing, he had been in a coma for four whole weeks. And his parents, didn't Butler say that they had a few broken bones. Why was he the only one who had to lie in a bed for four weeks?

Just them Angeline and burst in the door

"Arty, thank goodness your ok" Mrs Fowl said, throwing her one good arm around her son. Artemis senior followed a few seconds later on crutches

"You had us worried there for a while, son"

Artemis knew he should probably say something to show he loved them too but he still wasn't very good at the whole showing emotion thing, instead he just hugged his mother back.

"Oh Arty, I can't believe what happened. One minute we were on the road and the next I woke up here."

" Who called the ambulance?" asked Artemis even though there was only one person left who could have

Artemis senior took over " I woke up about an hour later and found everyone laying in the can unconscious and I thought you were dead. Dear God the was the worst moment of my life" His voice cracked with emotion "when I felt your pulses I came to my senses and called the ambulance. I must have passed out again because the next thing I remember is waking up here"

"Arty I need to tell you something" Angeline interrupted "I've tried to keep it a secret but we came so close to losing you and you have a right to know"

"Angeline don't do this" Artemis senior warned quietly

"No Timmy, he need to know," she said, her voice getting higher

"Know what mother? What do I have a right to know?" Artemis was confused, it didn't happen very often and he didn't like it.

Angeline went quiet, trying to find the right words

"MOTHER. What are you talking about?"

"You may not know this but before your father and I got married we didn't have all the money we have today. Your grandfather was still in charge of the business and for your father to inherit the company after he had died he needed to produce male heirs. They all had to be male because your grandfather was a tad racist"

A tad? Thought Artemis, that was like saying water was a tad wet

"As it turns out, we did have a child that wasn't exactly what your grandfather wanted "

Artemis felt his heart stop "Mother what are you saying?"

"You have a twin"

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**A/N. Did you see that coming? Was that chapter any good? PLEASE REVIEW! Oh and while I'm here I want to say THANKYOU to everyone who reviewed I love you all. Well, except the anonymous person who said my story was the worst they had ever read and then started abusing me. If you don't like my story FINE but if you're going to tell me so at least have some guts and SIGN the review. Get a spine. I deleted the review and now you have to sign in to review my story so if you really feel the need to bag me out at least I'll know who you are**


	4. Chapter 4 The shit hits the fan

**Hey everyone, I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter and thanks a heap for the reviews. Now onto Artys twin, I'm not sure if she's going to be a genius (tell me what you think on this) but she isn't going to be a bloody Pom (that's an English person by the way). No offence meant but you guys chucked a hissy fit over our tourism adds over there saying 'bloody' on TV. Bloody's not swearing, Bloodys just bloody, its a useful adjective (yeah I did get that from the Vicar of Dibley). Australians are so much cooler so I think you can figure out what nationality Artemis' twin is going to be! **

**CHAPTER FOUR **

Artemis was speechless. Finally all that came out was "E-e-excuse me?"

Angeline kept on talking, like if she stoped then she wouldn't be able to start again

"We were on holiday in Australia at the time and I was a big as a house. We were in this lovely country town called Narrandera when the contractions started. 16 hours later you were both born, both with the most gorgeous thatch of raven hair.

When we rang your grandfather and told him the news he said we had to get rid of the other one or give up everything." She started to cry, tears streaming down her face.

Artemis couldn't believe what he was hearing " Are you honestly saying that I have a sister? I have a _twin_ sister? And you gave her up for a few measly bucks? I don't believe this, I don't fucking believe this." Artemis never swore but this time he couldn't help it. He was furious. "You gave a child up just so you can have some nice things? Did you ever think what would happen to her when you gave her up for adoption? What if she ended up with someone who abused her, did you ever think of that? What if she's living on the streets and stealing stuff to survive? What if she didn't survive, WHAT IF SHES DEAD? YOU COULD HAVE KILLED YOU OWN CHILD" Artemis was almost hysterical, up until a few years ago no one was sure if he felt emotion but there was no denying the emotion in his voice now "You have to be the worse parents I've ever seen," He spat out, " get out of my sight, you're making me sick". With that he turned over and closed his eyes.

"But Arty, you have no idea what we went through afterwards. It broke my heart to give Ellie up. I think of her a thousand times a day and I kills me not knowing what happened to her." Tears were streaming down her face, making little rivers down her cheeks but Artemis wasn't listening.

"Come on love, let's give him some time to calm down. We'll come back tomorrow" Artemis' father said, hobbling out the door. Reluctantly Angeline followed with the parting words of "Just remember Arty, we do love you and we love Ellie. Everything will be fine"

Fine? Thought Artemis, how can everything be fine? I have a sister in Australia that they didn't even feel was worth a mention for the first 14 years of my life so how does that make things fine?

Ellie, Ellie. He kept running the name through his mind as if to find a connection. None came. Why did his parents name their other child if they were going to give it away? Artemis wondered if she was still called Ellie. Why Ellie? He wondered, why did they give both their children female names?

He was getting tired again and his thoughts were getting random and sketchy. Why he thought, why…

**Sorry not much has happened yet but I swear in going to pick it up soon. And I'm sorry that Artemis and Holly haven't caught up yet but just be patient and I'll get there **


	5. Chapter 5 I need help

Chapter Five 

**Uh so heres the next chapter… enjoy! **

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At 10:00am the next morning Butler knocked on Artemis' room door

"Excuse me sir, may I come in?"

Artemis thought about it. He really didn't want to talk to anyone but he needed some answers.

"Fine then Butler you can come in"

When Butler was seated in the chair next to Artemis there was an awkward silence before Artemis finally said "Why didn't you tell me about her Butler?"

"I was sworn to secrecy Artemis, I would have been fired. They said they were going to tell you eventually, I just don't think this was how they planned it."

"I'm getting out in three weeks. The day after I get out I plan to go to Australia and find my sister, are you going to come?" Artemis held his breath; it would be a lot easier if Butler agreed to come.

"I don't think your parents would be pleased if you went to Australia, in fact I don't think they would allow it at all" Butler said

"Butler, I don't actually care what would please my parents and if you don't help me then I'll just go over by myself. Just think about it, all those crazy people on the street and everyone would be drinking and smoking God knows what and peer pressure just might be too much for me…"

Butler sighed; Artemis was being a rebellious teenager. Great, he thought, just great. "Fine Artemis I'll take you to Australia but how do you plan to find you sister? All you have is a first name that may not even be the same anymore and where she was born."

Artemis gave Butler a smile that set his hair on edge

"Oh don't you worry about that Butler, don't you worry about that"

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Holly was living in a pig stye. Ok so she was the first to admit that her house wasn't usually gleaming with bleached floors and vacuumed carpets but this was disgusting. Mulch had been living with her for over two months now and she could hardly walk into her house without gagging. She was standing outside her front door, talking deep breaths so she wouldn't have to breathe as much when she entered her… what did you call it because it certainly wasn't her place anymore. Holly took one last breath and opened the door. The stench hit her like a physical blow and she snapped. She couldn't take living like this anymore, not knowing when she was going to step on the next bug or sit on the next unidentified thing.

"MULCH" she hollered "GET HERE NOW"

Mulch stuck his head around the corner "What can I do for you Holly?"

"What you can do for me Mulch is pack up your stuff and get the hell out of my house"

Mulch looked at her for a second "What?"

"You herd me Mulch. You may enjoy living like this but I like being able to see the floor so I'm giving you 10 minutes to pack your pack and get lost"

Mulch was stunned "But Holly, where will I live?

"Well you should have thought of that before you completely trashed my house, ate all my food and really pissed me off"

Just then there was a beeping noise from the bedroom. Holly looked at the door, and then at Mulch "You better start packing 'cause I'm kicking you out in ten minutes whether you're packed or not" she said as she started walking to the door.

Holly entered the bedroom and followed the noise to her bedside table; it was her communicator with Artemis.

She turned it on and said impatiently "Artemis, I'm kind of in the middle of something. Can this wait?"

"Well no it can't really. I need your help" Artemis said

Oh dear, thought Holly. This can't be good "What have you done now?"

Artemis looked offended "what makes you think I've done anything?"

Holly gave him a look; he kind of saw her point.

"Well this time I haven't done anything but I need you help now"

"What can I do for you Artemis?"

"I need you to help me find someone in Australia. This person is my sister"

Holly looked at the communicator for a second before saying "Uh, Artemis you don't have a sister… do you?"

"Yes, apparently I do. My parents only felt fit to tell me about a month ago"

"Ok Artemis I'm confused. How about you start from the beginning?"

So Artemis told her the whole story, starting with the car crash and going from there. When he was finished Holly let out a low whistle "Wow Artemis, that's a hell of a story."

"So are you going to help me out?"

Holly thought about it. On one hand she really wanted to help him out and it would be interesting to see someone with the same genes as Artemis but on the other she couldn't let Mulch stay in her house alone.

"Ok I'll help you out but I'm going to have to bring Mulch along because he's sleeping in my lounge room and I am NOT leaving him here alone in my house"

Artemis smiled "I'm sure we can find a use for him"

A/N Hi ho hi ho its off to Australia Arty goes, well country New South Wales to be exact. Narrandera is a real place about an hour and a half from my house so if anyone lives around Narrandera give us a yell and we can bitch about what a hole it is.


	6. Chapter 6 The search begins

So… here the next chapter. Now, I have a problem I only got THREE reviews for the last chapter and I've had 2185 hits. Does anyone else see the problem with these stats? REVIEW or I'm not going to bother, if you don't give me a reason to write I'm not going to bother.

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"So the general gist of the situation is that you almost died so your mother decided to tell you about a long lost twin you have and now you want to find her. You do realise how hard its going to be to track down a long lost child of 14 years ago don't you?" Holly said. Her, Artemis, Butler and Mulch were sitting in the living room in Fowl Manor. Holly and Mulch had arrived about five hours earlier, Artemis wasn't exactly sure how they got here so fast seeing as he only called Holly the day before but he was willing to bet that it wasn't legal. Well he was about the last person who should be preaching about doing things the legal way so he just shut his mouth and welcomed her in.

"Yes Holly, funnily enough I do realise that but she's my sister and I have to find out what happened"

"Ok Artemis, I see what you mean and I have to admit I am curious about your twin. She might actually have turned out normal, despite sharing her genes with you"

"Nah, there's no way she could have turned out normal if she's anything like him" Mulch said pointing to Artemis "the poor girl never had a chance"

Artemis looked over at Mulch "Was that meant to be an insult?"

"You know for a genius you're not very smart, you can't even figure out when you're being dissed. Now onto the more important things, where do you keep the carrots" Mulch said as he go up and headed towards the kitchen

Artemis raised an eyebrow "Make yourself at home"

"Forget him" Holly said impatiently "could we get back on subject please, how are we going to find you sister?"

Artemis sat up straighter and smoothed back his hair, finally they were getting to the business side of the conversation "yes, well we are going to have to go by airplane because we cant go underground and it's the quickest above ground travel. When we touch down in Sydney at about 7:45pm their time we will catch a taxi to a hotel and sleep there for the night. We will arise at 6:00 and catch the 8:00 to Wagga Wagga- the nearest city to Narrandera. From there it is about an hour drive to Narrandera and we should arrive at about 10:30am which should give us most of the day to start the search"

Holly looked at him for a second before saying "Wow, you haven't thought about this a tall have you?"

"You know, you scare me with how organised you are sometimes mud boy" Mulch said as he came out of the kitchen with a mouth full off carrots

"And look what he still manages to get himself into" Holly said dryly

"We're going off the subject here everyone" Butler pointed out before pulling out his phone "I'm going to call the airline now and get us tickets" he said as he walked out of the room.

Twenty minutes later he came back, slipping his phone back into his pocket and said "The next flight to get into Sydney at 7:45 leaves at 8:00 tomorrow morning so Holly and Mulch are going to have to stay here the night. I'll go and set up the spare room."

"Could we make it two rooms please, Butler?" Holly said quickly "its just that if I have to sleep within 20 meters of him again I think I'll go crazy"

Butler nodded and exited the room

Holy turned to Artemis and said "So how do you plan to explain two extra house guests to your parents? Where are they by the way and why aren't you at school?"

"My parents are at the hospital for physiotherapy today and I will just say that I've got a few friends over who were concerned about me. That should work because they will be happy that I've got some friends and I can do anything at the moment because they are still worried I am angry at them for not telling me about my sister-which I am. Secondly I am not at school because the doctor said I need time off to recover." Artemis explained before he started talking to Mulch "before my parents arrive could you please have a shower, they might think it a bit strange that my house guest not only has a beard but smells like dog food"

Mulch looked indignantly at Artemis "I do not smell like dog meat, thankyou very much and I do _not_ need a shower, I smell just fine"

Holly snorted "Mulch, flowers are fine, perfume is fine, freshly cooked French fries are fine. You are not fine"

"Fine, I'll have a damn shower again. I swear I've showered more in the past few months then I have in my entire lifetime" He walked off still grumbling to himself.

It was 7:00 before Artemis' parents arrived home. They were met by a short girl with auburn haircut into a crew-cut sitting next to a very short man with a beard. Obviously they were shocked. They stood there for about 10 seconds just looking at them before Holly said " Hello Mr and Mrs Fowl. I'm Artemis' friend, Holly and this is Mulch"

Artemis' mother was the first to snap out of it "Uh hello Holly, Mulch. Are you staying tonight?"

"If that's alright with you Mrs Fowl, we don't want to be any trouble to you" Holly smiled sweetly at her. Sucking up can get you anywhere.

Mrs Fowl smiled back at her, obviously charmed "Oh no dear that's fine, any friends of Arty's are welcome here. Have you eaten dinner yet?"

"No, not yet. I think Artemis just went to go and get us something. Don't worry we're not being starved"

Just then Artemis walked into the room "Ah Mother, Father, I see you're home. How was physiotherapy today?" he said politely but coldly

"Fine thankyou Artemis, I see you've got some friends staying over."

"Yes, I plan to leave with them to stay at Holly's house for a while before I return back to school. Do you mind?" Artemis looked at her with hard eyes

" N-no I suppose not. When are you leaving?" Mrs Fowl asked, surprised. She never knew Artemis had any friends and now he was staying over at someone's house- a girl's house, no less! But what could she do? If she said no he would probably hate her even more than he already did and she doubted it would stop him anyway

"Tomorrow morning. We want to get away but 6:00"

"6:00? Why so early?" now she was really confused

Artemis shrugged "We just want to get into Dublin early so we have most of the day to use"

Holly was relieved when Butler interrupted to announce that dinner was ready-the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife. Dinner's going to be fun, she though and one look at Mulch told her he was thinking the same thing.

Dinner was eaten in silence but the underlying tension was there and everyone was glad when it was finished.

At 5:45 the next morning they were ready. Artemis' parents were still in bed so there was no soppy goodbyes- they just got in the car and left. The car trip into Dublin was uneventful and by 7:00 they were at the airport. The plane was late and so it didn't take off until 8:45 and that just made Artemis even tenser, by the time the plane was in the air Artemis was ready to bite his nails, which he had never done in his life. Holly could feel him next to her and said "Calm down Artemis, it'll be ok".

Artemis just looked at her-that was easy for her to say, it wasn't her twin!

For the rest of the plane trip Artemis' head was spinning. Was he doing the right thing? What would she be like? Was she even alive? Was he completely insane for doing this? Well of course he was, what kind of person goes running after someone with only a birthplace and a 14 year old name?

He must have slept, though it didn't feel like he did but the next thing he knew Butler was waking him up

"Artemis? Wake up, the planes about to land in Sydney" He said gently

The plane landed and after they got their luggage Butler hired a car and they started out towards Narrandera.

The search had begun.

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Sorry it took so long to get out but I had a bit of a block and I had no idea what to write. I don't thing this is very good but tell me what you think anyway.

Pip 


	7. Chapter 7 Naranderra

Hey guys! SORRY this took so long to get out I've been a little swamped by school for a few weeks, all the teachers gave me assignment at the same time. I think the plan it that way. And on top of all that I just finished my half yearly exams and now reports are going out… that's going to be interesting… Oh and before I forget AGAIN I'm really bad at grammar and stuff like that so if anyone wants to be my BETA I would be so grateful. I use to think I was ok but I'll admit it now that I'm CRAP. Someone offered to be my BETA when I started this thing and I should have taken them up on the offer so I'm sorry about the shotty grammar in my stories its my own stupid fault!

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They arrived at Narrandera half an hour behind schedule at 11:00 am. The first stop they made was the hospital, seemed logical seeing as that was where they had been born. As they walked up the stairs Artemis wondered, not for the first time, what he had gotten himself into. This was different to everything else- this was personal. It was like Russia all over again, trying to find a family member was incredibly stressful. At least this time there wasn't an evil pixie trying to take over The Haven this time.

They entered the hospital and walked over to the front desk. Sitting there was a nurse who looked about late-twenties, early-thirties.

" Hi, what can I do for you?" she said in the strong Australian accent Artemis was getting use to. He never realised how fast Australians talk until yesterday but he was starting to understand most of what they said.

" I'm Sergeant John Bennet and I'm looking for a person who was last seen here 14 years ago" Butler said, pulling out his fake police badge and showing the nurse, who's nametag said her name was Megan

Megan looked excited "Ooh like a missing persons case, how exciting. How can I help?"

"Can you please find me some records from about 14 years ago? They would be under the name of Angeline Fowl. She was in the maternity ward."

Megan frowned "I don't think the computer holds information from that long ago sergeant."

"Is there any other place I could find them?" Butler asked

"Well there is the basement where we keep all the old records. We keep them pretty neat so it shouldn't be too hard to find. Follow me and I'll show you the way"

They followed Megan down a flight of stairs to a room filled with filing cabinets; there was probably about 70 all up

"These are the records dating all the way back to1930, one filing cabinet a year. They have the year written on the so it shouldn't be too difficult." Megan said as they all walked in.

"Thankyou for your assistance Megan, you've been very helpful. I think it would be best if you just leave us to it. We'll call if we need help." Butler said smiling. Wow, thought Holly, he can be really charming when he wants to be.

Megan turned to walk out but as she reached the door she turned around and asked, " I was wondering, if this is a police investigation why have you dragged a kid and two midgets to work with you?"

"We prefer little people, thankyou very much" Mulch said indignantly

Butler rolled his eyes and said " The kid is my nephew, my sister made me baby sit him today. I had no choice but to bring him to work and the other two are my partners," he dropped to a whisper and said, " They're a little sensitive about their height"

Megan nodded "ok then, just wondering. Call me if you need anything"

"Ok we will"

Then she closed the door and they were alone with seventy years of health records.

An hour later they found the records.

"I got it!" Holly called, waving it triumphantly above her head. Artemis grabbed it out of her hand and opened it up, looked at it for a minute or two and then said

"What the hell?"

"What is it Artemis?" butler said, concerned

Artemis passed the manila folder over to butler. He skimmed through it before saying "I don't believe it"

Holly looked from one to the other

"What is it?" she demanded

"It says my sister was stillborn" Artemis said, hardly believing what he was reading

"That's not possible," said Butler "I saw her with my own eyes"

"I smell a rat" holly said, looking around at the group theatrically

Mulch looked around guiltily

"My bad" he said apologetically

Artemis ignored him and turned to butler " are you sure they delivered two alive and healthy children?"

Butler nodded in confirmation "yes, there was definitely two of you"

"Right, well in that case who was the doctor who delivered us? We need to find him and ask him a few questions"

"It was," Holly grabbed the folder off butler and started to read " Dr Neil Wells. It doesn't have a address though so how do we find him?"

"I have contacts" Butler said "in a few hours I can have anything you want to know about Dr Wells, I can even tell you when his last dentist appointment was"

Artemis nodded "Then get started while we photocopy this. Now I've stared this I just want to find her"

Six hours later they all crowded around the small laptop to read the email Butler had received from his contacts about Dr Wells.

"It says here he lives with his wife and kids at 52 Audley Street. The kids go to Saint Francis high school in Leeton and the wife is a teacher at Narrandera public school." Butler said reading off the tiny screen. He looked up and said, " I think we should pay Dr Wells a visit"

"An excellent idea" said Artemis "but seeing as its now 6:00 at night I think we should wait until tomorrow"

Holly and Mulch nodded in agreement. They were still jetlagged and were asleep on their feet.

They had a quick dinner that consisted of vegemite sandwiches because that's all that seemed to be in the cupboard and no one wanted to go down to the pub for an actual meal. No one liked the vegemite much except for Mulch who eats pretty much anything and after watching the last bit of The Simpsons they went to bed. There were only two rooms so Artemis and Butler shared one and Holly and Mulch were in the other.

Artemis lay on his back, staring at the roof, wondering what happened to his sister, why all this crazy stuff happened to him- it was a burden being a genius sometimes, and finally what tomorrow would bring because that was the most immediate worry. No one could tell what Dr Wells could tell them and his greatest worry- ok fear- was that he wouldn't be able to tell hem anything.

---

**so, what do you think? Remember REVIEW!** **Thanks to everyone who does though, you guys rock! Should I keep Artemis' twins name as Ellie? I'm not sure any more but if you can think of a better one let me know, I'm open to suggestions. **

**Well, till the next update, shine on you crazy diamonds! **

**Pip **


	8. Chapter 8 Dr Wells

**Disclaimer: don't own nothing… well 'cept the stuff I do**

**I am SO SORRY this took so long to get out but this is the third time I've written this chapter. The first time I'd almost finished then we got a new computer and so I lost it, the second time the new computer screwed up and lost half our stuff, including my story. So, third time lucky and if this doesn't work I'm gonna jump up and down like I psycho. So sorry about the timing, I swear this is the longest it's going to take.**

The alarm went off at 8:00am and by 9:00 they were out the door. They arrived at Narrandera Hospital at 9:10 and headed straight to the maternity ward.

When they walked through the swinging doors they were immediately surrounded by people racing around like crazy people. The only reason they didn't check to see if they had come to the right ward was the fact that Narrandera didn't have a Psyche ward. They walked over to a nurse at a desk who looked slightly less harried than everyone else.

"Excuse me miss" Butler said when they reached her " I'm Sergeant John Bennet and I was wondering where I could find Dr Wells."

"I'm not sure, hold on and I'll check. Hey Alice," she called out to a young nurse rushing by "do you know where Neil is?"

"Same place I'm going, Sarah Robertson went into premature labour and needs an emergency caesarean" She said before running into a nearby room

Nurse number one looked at them apologetically "sorry, he's unavailable at the moment. If you really need him I suggest you come back around 1:00 and you might catch him on his lunch break."

Butler nodded "Alright, thanks for your help." He said as he turned to walk out the door

"One more thing" the Nurse called out as they reached the door "is that an Irish accent?"

Butler nodded "yes, I'm from Ireland"

"Well its sexy "the nurse said, winking. Butler just smiled and walked out the door.

When they were outside Holly, Mulch and Artemis sniggered

"I've heard a lot of words to describe you, usually big and scary spring to mind but sexy is a new one to me." Holly said snorting

Butler Just smiled once again "I have a way with the ladies"

---

At 1:15 they entered the hospital lunch room and located Dr Wells from Butler's information. He was around 45 and was starting to get grey hair.

The four of them walked up to where he was eating a sandwich and Butler sat down across from him

"Dr Wells?" butler asked. The doctor nodded in conformation "I'm Sergeant John Bennet and I want to ask you a few questions about a Mrs Angeline Fowl and her children you delivered around 14 years ago"

At the sound of Mrs Fowls name Wells paled and his jaw dropped open. Not a pretty sight considering that he was in the middle of chewing his ham and cheese sandwich. He quickly regained his composure and asked "what about them?"

"We have reason to believe that you murdered one of those children" He paled even further which Artemis didn't even this was possible. Butler leaned over to him and said "Heres what I'm going to do. I'm going to leave you with my associates while I get your car and then you're going to tell me everything I want to know"

The doctor sighed "fine, I knew this was going to bow up in my face sooner or later."

Butler stared at him for a while longer before he got up "keys." he asked, they were given to him "stay here I'll come and get you when I've gotten the car. Oh, and I should warn you, my friends here may be small but all three of them are trained in no less that four martial arts so if I were you, I wouldn't get on their bad side." He walked out the door with Dr Wells looking at him like he was the incredible hulk. Probably because he looked like him, only Butler wasn't green.

The Doctor sighed again and looked at Artemis curiously "you're the other twin, aren't you?"

"Yes, Angeline Fowl is my mother"

"I thought so; you look like your father you know. And you've still got that black hair and pale skin you had when you were born"

Artemis nodded and tried to pretend he cared.

Three Minutes later Butler was back with the car. There was only one problem, it was a Ute. Artemis looked at it disbelievingly "what is that Butler?" he asked

"That is my car; there are only two seats though so three of you are going to have to sit in the tray"

"But isn't that illegal?" asked Artemis desperately

Holly snorted "since when has being on the right side of the law worried you? Just get in the car Artemis"

Sensing that he was fighting a loosing battle Artemis sighed and climbed gingerly into the tray.

Two minutes later Artemis was bouncing around in the back of a rusty Holden Ute and defiantly wasn't putting it on his ton ten favourite pass times. So far he had a rip in his pants, dirt everywhere and a bruised backside.

Finally, after four minutes of this they arrived at the silver-key café where Butler stopped the car and they all piled out.

"I.Am. Never. Doing. That. Again." He said pausing after every word to emphasise the point

"Sorry, suspensions shot to hell" Dr Wells apologised while Mulch sniggered. Artemis gave Mulch a look that made his stop and they walked into the silver-key.

The five of them slid into a booth and Dr. Wells began his story.

"It all seemed like a normal day in the hospital," he began "sounds cliché, I know but it really was. Around 2:00 that all changed though. I was doing the paper work for a patient when I get paged. I raced to the delivery room where I was told that a Mrs Angeline Fowl was in labour with twins. I did what I get paid for and 9 hours later the Fowls had two new members of their family, or so I thought. I was satisfied with my work and was just about to go home when Mr. Fowl pulled me aside and offered me a million dollars to say the female half of the recently born duo was still born."

"And once again it comes down to money" Holly said rolling her eyes "what do you mud people find so fascinating about being rich?"

The doctor looked at her confused "what people?"

"Please continue with your story" Butler interrupted before Holly could answer. The doctor obliged

"Now the thing you have to understand here is that I had three young children at home and children aren't cheap to look after. Especially if one has leukaemia. Yes, my daughter Eliza was diagnosed with leukaemia when she was three and doctors may be well paid but the medical bills were extraordinary. I didn't see much choice. A million dollars is a lot of money and it would get me and my family out of debt with enough left over to make sure that my daughter got the best care available. The decision I made has haunted me for years but when I look back I don't know how I could do it any other way."

"But what happened to the other one?" Artemis asked desperately and even though he hated the way he was asking he couldn't stop it. Damn emotions, he though, they complicate everything.

"I gave the girl to my friends who lived on a farm about twenty kilometres out of town."

"Lived?" questioned Holly "as in past tense?"

Wells sighed and there was a pain in his eyes that made Artemis' stomach drop

"Yes, lived. They were killed in a car crash two years ago, it was a foggy morning and they ran straight into a tree. They were killed instantly. Fortunately Ally wasn't in the car at the time, she was going to catch the school bus later on in the morning."

Artemis sighed "oh thank god. What's Ally short for?"

"You're parents insisted that even though they couldn't keep her they wanted her named after the Greek God, Apollo despite the fact that Apollo was a male."

Artemis turned to Butler "I thought her name was Ellie"

"Her middle name was Eleanor so your parents shortened that because both names were pretty ugly. The reason they named her Apollo Eleanor was Apollo to fit in with your name and Eleanor after your great-grandmother"

"Whatever," Artemis said dismissively "where is she now?"

Dr. Wells was starting to look uncomfortable "Well the Robertson's didn't have any other family so Ally got taken in by DoCS and was sent to a foster family in Sydney. The last I heard of her she wasn't having a great time but she was alive"

"DoCS?" Mulch asked, slightly confused

"The Department of Community Services. They take care of things like welfare and things like that"

"Do you know where exactly she is now?" Butler asked, getting impatient for the point.

"Seventeen Charles St, Glebe. Her and my daughter write to each other."

Artemis almost shouted out loud. A break through, finally!

Butler nodded and stood up "thankyou Dr Wells, you've been very helpful"

They all walked out, leaving Wells sitting on his own in an empty café.

"But wait sergeant what about a police report? Officer? OFFICER?" He yelled at them as they exited the silver-key

"So," Holly said when they were out "off to Sydney again?"

"Sounds good to me"

**AHHHHHHH! STUPID BLOODY COMPUTERS! I HATE THEM SO MUCH! In case you're wondering that's me jumping up and down like a psycho. Yes, that means it didn't work. I sent it to my beta AND I COULDN'T OPEN IT AGAIN. So I'm sorry if there's any typo's or editing mistakes, they're all my fault and don't blame my beta Dark Princess. Thanks for editing it though, even though it didn't work. We'll fix it up later. **

**Don't forget to review. Oh and sorry to all the Eleanor's out there, no offence meant but I needed to change the name and that was the only way I could think of. Yes, I do realise it was still pretty dodgy so sorry but it was the best I could do.**

**Well to next time (which I swear will be next week sometime) **

**Ciao **


	9. Chapter 9 Eureka!

**Disclaimer: Don't own nothin'  
See I told you I'd get this one out quicker, ok so it wasn't a week later but I'm sure you'll get over it. Big shout out to my beta again, thanks heaps. Anyway here it is… **

The next day they were back in Sydney. Mulch wasn't too happy about all the flying though, he wasn't a good flyer. He had gone through three barf bags in the hour and a half fly from Wagga Wagga to Sydney.  
"You know green really isn't your colour, Mulch." Holly said sniggering  
Mulch gave her a dirty look "Shut up Holly. I have a bag full of puke and I'm not afraid to use it."  
She shut up after that and only laughed at him behind his back.  
Two hours later they were standing on Glebe Point Road with absolutely no idea where they were going.  
Holly was almost out of patience. "I told you we should have stopped and asked for directions."  
The other three looked offended.  
"Why? I know where I'm going." Butler assured her.  
Holly rolled her eyes, bloody males. It's the same in every species, they can never admit when they're wrong.  
"Look, this is just pathetic. I'm going to ask someone. Excuse me," she called out to a nice looking man walking past. "do you know how we can get to Charles Street?"  
The man smiled and said to Holly. "What you need Charles Street for? My place is much more interesting."  
Holly just gave him a look that said 'you've gotta be kidding'. The man just grinned even more before he caught sight of Butler behind Holly and decided it would be best for health if he stopped trying to get into the short chicks pants.  
"Uh, it's down that road a bit. Hold on I'll draw you a map."  
Three minutes they left Glebe Point Road and were making their way towards Charles Street with Holly sitting smugly in the back.  
"See, wasn't that easier than trying to be all macho?"  
Butler grumbled something that Holly took as an agreement.  
Five minutes later Butler pulled up outside Seventeen Charles Street. No one moved from the car for a while.  
"We should get out and see if she's there." Butler said quietly.  
"We should." agreed Holly, equally quiet.  
"Then lets go" Artemis said, abruptly getting out of the car before he chickened out. "Holly and I will go and say we're friends."  
The house itself was nothing special. It was a red brick house with probably about three bedrooms and was probably built in the 1970's. The garden looked like someone had tried to tame it but had given up after almost losing an arm. All in all it looked like every other house in the street.  
Artemis took a deep breath and pressed the door bell. He could hear the annoying chime echo down the hallway and a second later, footsteps making their way towards the door.  
A woman who looked like she was in her early thirties opened the door and look enquiringly at Artemis and Holly  
"Yes?"  
"Excuse me, is Ally in?" Holly asked politely  
She shook her head. "Sorry, you just missed her. If you leave now, you might be able to catch her at the bus stop."  
Holly nodded. "Thank you."  
They turned to walk away before Holly grimaced and turns around "um, do you think you could give us directions to the bus stop?"  
---  
Five minutes later they were at the bus stop. It turned out that the bus stop was on Glebe Point Road but Holly didn't want to go through being lost again. Bloody males!  
When they reached the bus stop there were four people sitting on the bench. One was an old man with grey hair and a walker -fairly safe to say that that one wasn't Ally, the second one was a pregnant woman who looked in her early twenties, the third one was a guy who looked about sixteen and he was talking to a fourteen year old girl with black hair with red streaks through it, a small purple nose stud and a barely noticeable scar across her right cheek bone.  
Artemis stood there and stared at her for what seemed like an eternity before she sensed someone looking at her and gave him a look that said 'what?'  
Artemis started to make his way over to her before Holly stopped him.  
"You can't just walk up to someone at the bus stop and tell them you're their long-lost twin. It'll freak her out and she'll never talk to you again."  
Artemis shook his head and came to his senses, "Of course. We should wait until she gets back and tell her then."  
"Sounds like a plan."  
---  
Six hours and 4 coffees each later they were still waiting.  
"She's not gonna come." Mulch said. He wasn't having the great day, first there was the flying and now he was sitting in the hot Australian sun burning even though he had gone through 6 bottles of 30+ SPF sun screen and he now smelt like a burnt hamburger patty covered in bin juice. He was still burning even though he was sitting inside and he was thoroughly pissed off.  
As if to prove him wrong the bus pulled up and the same girl who they assumed was Ally got off without the guy she was talking to when they first saw her. She looked over to him he saw a hint of recognition in her eyes and took that as an invitation. He took a deep breath and stepped toward her.  
"Apollo Robertson?" he asked.  
She looked at him suspiciously. "Yeah"  
Artemis stuck out his hand. "I'm Artemis Fowl and I'm your brother." the words sounded strange coming from his mouth.  
She raised an eyebrow just like he would. "Really?"  
"Yes, we were separated at birth but now I want to get to know you and possibly even convince you to move to Ireland with us."  
She stared at him, eyebrows around her hairline before saying "Fuck off."  
Holly groaned, Artemis was being an idiot. Whatever happened to the whole not-ambushing her-at-the-bus-stop thing?  
"Uh do you want to find a place for us to sit down and have hot chocolate or something?" Holly interjected.  
Ally adjusted her sight line to Holly. She was looking at them as if they were mad, they probably were.  
"No, I don't want hot chocolate. I want you get the hell out of my way."  
Ally had a glint in her eyes that almost dared her to stop her and Holly never walked away from a dare.  
"I think you should listen to what your brother has to say." she said, crossing her arms across her chest.  
"Would you stop calling him that? He is _not_ my brother. I have no family."  
"Yes you do, you're looking at it."  
Ally looked at them disbelievingly. "Christ, what the hell is wrong with you people?"  
She pushed past Holly and started walking away. She didn't get very far though because something was blocking her was. That thing was Butler. She looked up at him for a second then punched him in the nose, or at least tried. Butler, being a master in martial arts saw it coming and grabbed her fist as it was coming towards him. From there he hoisted her up onto his shoulder and carried her to the car. She fought him all the way, kicking, hitting, biting and screaming, making it impossible for the rest of the street not to notice her. A big looking guy came up and asked if there was a problem  
"OF COURSE THERE'S A FUCKING PROBLEM, I DON'T DO THIS KIND OF THING FOR THE HELL OF IT EINSTEIN!" She yelled at him, still trying to beat the crap out of Butler.  
"Look, I'm really sorry about this, I'm her father and she's run away from the Children's Hospital in Randwick. I don't know how she even got this far away. I really am sorry, she hasn't been herself lately."  
The man was convinced and looked sympathetically at Butler. "Yeah, I know how it is. My cousin is in Randwick hospital with anorexia and she acts like that all the time. Its hard but you'll get through it." He gave him a pat on the shoulder and walked away, all while Ally is screaming her head off, yelling "HE'S LYING, FOR FUCKS SAKE, HELP ME!"  
Butler managed to shove her into the car ad put the child-lock on the doors.  
They drove around for twenty minutes before Ally calmed down and stopped trying to break out and for twenty minutes it took Holly, Artemis and Mulch to pin her down. Butler was just thankful that they didn't run into any cops because he would have a hard time explaining why he had a teenager restrained and yelling in the backseat of his car.  
Finally they pulled over in a small alleyway in Annandale. Ally had calmed down and now looked as though she didn't know whether to go psycho again or start hyperventilating. Eventually she decided to just sit there and throw them dirty looks every now and again.  
After a while Artemis spoke up. "I'm telling the truth, you know."  
She just gave him a look like she wanted to kill him. "Prove it"  
"Fine then we will. We'll take a blood test; by tomorrow it will be certain that we are brother and sister."  
Butler took his cue and pulled out of the alley and set off towards the closest hospital. Ally just sat there, not believing what was happening. It was a normal Saturday morning, she did her usual thing -except the car thing but that wasn't her fault- and all of a sudden she's been kidnapped by a giant, two midgets- one of which smelt like burnt bacon covered in sunscreen- and a guy who was probably about her age but looked like he'd never seen the sun. As if her life wasn't screwed up enough already.  
Ten minutes later they were at yet another hospital. The only difference was that this was a private hospital and the nurses were nicer and more inclined to take bribes. This was proved because the nurse who took their blood also took the five hundred dollars offered to her to speed up the test. She promised to get it back to them by the end of the day. Artemis thought it was very unlikely she would be able to get it done in that time but for once he didn't say anything.   
Actually none of them said anything except Mulch who was grumbling about his skin being burnt to a crisp. Personally Holly had seen worse and thought he was overreacting but if she said anything now it would interrupt the awkward silence she was enjoying so much.   
Next to her Ally was sitting there thinking about how much shit she was in. Maybe Monro sent these guys, then she really was in trouble. But how did he get then onto her so quickly, she only did it this **arvo **and why are they taking her to get a blood sample? None of this makes sense, especially this Artemis guy. Ok, sure she could see how they might be related, they had the same colour hair and the same eyes and nose but that was where the resemblance ended. Surely the Robertson's would have told her if she had a twin. They hadn't hid the fact that she was adopted, for which she was thankful but they were still her parents in every way that mattered and parents didn't keep stuff like that from their kids, did they?  
On the other side of her, Artemis was thinking too. Mainly about what an idiot he was but there was some other thoughts floating around in there. What if he'd screwed up and this was the wrong Ally Robertson and he'd dragged this feisty girl all the way here for nothing? What if she laid charges? It would be out o her rights to do so, this was all against her will and at the moment she looked like she wanted to kill all of them with her bare hands.  
Finally after several attempts at conversation and two escape attempts the blood results were back. Surprisingly it only took them four hours but by that stage none of them could stand the tension in the room any more.  
An old and grandfatherly doctor came out and called them into his office. Artemis and Ally both took deep breaths and stepped in, both aware that the rest of their lives were tied to what that pathology test said.

**Ooh suspense eh? Actually you probably know what's going to happen but I've started this and I hate not finishing things. Do you like Ally? My beta asked me what arvo was so I though I'd better explain. Arvo is short for afternoon, maybe its one of those weird words that only Australians use. Oh and while I'm here I thought I might point out that I only got about four reviews last time. You read it, you review it, its not rocket science everyone. Anyway, till next time… Pip **


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